BITTMAN TAKES ON AMERICA'S CHEFS

Bittman calls star D.C. chef Jose Andres "the hyperkinetic Catalonian," and indeed this show has about as much energy as anyone can handle.

After producing a traditional paella for thirty (Bittman's dish, shrimp with rice, was less impressive in its presentation but equally legit) and gorgeous stuffed crab (Bittman responds with a nice little crab soup), and after causing Bittman to cry on screen (relax: it's only onions), Andres leads The Star to his new "MiniBar."

Bittman and the Boston grillmaster have been friends for close to thirty years, which meant Schlesinger had no compunctions about throwing Bittman into the (fortunately warm) water off the Massachusetts coast at the close of the show. Before that, the two surf together in high seas (Chris actually surfing, Bittman lying down on the surfboard) and grill together. They begin at Chris's restaurant the East Coast Grill, a veritable institution in Cambridge - demonstrating their skills with fresh tuna.

As Bittman says, Suzanne is "LA's hottest chef, in more ways than one." Goin is a Los Angeles native, educated at Brown, who trained in France and Providence, Rhode Island, and is one of the most sophisticated chefs ever to cook in southern California. At first, Bittman was worried that her blend of chic and rustic would prove too easy for him to compete against, but Goin assembled a stuffed chicken leg that clearly had him worried; he responded nicely, however with a rolled stuffed breast.

Boulud, a man who almost single-handedly has redefined the notion of "the French chef," broke the mold of the show by taking practically an entire lamb and preparing it four different ways: a stuffed saddle, grilled chops, braised shoulder, and roasted leg. The overwhelmingly complex dishes featured so many exotic ingredients, including a never-before-seen citrus fruit (never-before-seen by Bittman, anyway) and peeled grapes, that Bittman appeared temporarily stunned.

Bittman and Vongerichten - considered by some to be America's greatest chef - have worked together for fifteen years (they've produced two books and are working on a third) so it's no surprise they seem so relaxed together. When, cooking in the stunning kitchen of his eponymous restaurant on Central Park West, Jean-Georges produces squab with Jordan almonds, Bittman asks, "What is this, the most bizarre dish ever created?" but responds with Cornish hen with Red Hots.

Bittman always has troubles with chefs he actually admires, and Danko - a great teacher who runs San Francisco's most highly acclaimed restaurant and one of the chefs who continues to drive the development of "California cuisine" - is clearly in that category.

Gabrielle Hamilton is the chef/owner of PRUNE which she opened in New York City's East Village in October 1999. She has written for Saveur Magazine and Food & Wine and had the eight-week Chef's Column in the New York Times. Her work has been anthologized in Best Food Writing 2001 and 2002. PRUNE was named in TIME OUT NY/2000 Top 100, Adam Platt's "Where to Eat n 2003" in New York Magazine, and featured in Saveur 100 in 2001. New York Magazine also chose PRUNE for Best Brunch in 2002.

"The Great One" - in both girth and reputation - runs Citronelle, easily the best upscale restaurant in the nation's capital. Bittman is awed when Michel assembles a lobster burger, which he happily admits is "the greatest hamburger in the world." He can only respond by going in the opposite direction, and produces the lobster roll of his youth - which Richard grabs from him and immediately devours.

Suvir Saran is a young, self-taught chef with a restaurant that Bittman says serves the best Indian food in the States. Born into an upper crust family in Bombay, Suvir learned much about food from his grandmother and his family's cook before coming to New York and getting into the fashion business. But the rave responses to parties he'd throw led him into the kitchen, and eventually to opening his own restaurant, Devi.

In San Francisco, Charles Phan's upscale Vietnamese restaurant Slanted Door is a runaway success - and probably the most successful Asian restaurant in the country. Bittman has been there many times, but it's clear he's on uncertain footing when he squares off against Phan's traditional summer rolls. Our Hero thinks he's invented something new when he deconstructs the familiar roll and creates a salad of its ingredients but Phan, with a hint of admiration, tells him it's a classic Vietnamese salad called bun.

James Boyce is the chef at Studio, the fine dining restaurant at the ultra-luxurious Montage resort in Laguna Beach, California. To impress Bittman, James pulls out all the stops and makes skate with dates, a tamarind gastrique, and sautéed porcini - a combination of flavors that Bittman initially chides, then falls in love with before responding with a classic skate in brown butter, with an addition of honey to mimic the sweetness in James's gastrique.

The Manhattanite Bittman appears lost in Brooklyn, where Al di La chef Klinger runs her charming trattoria with the aid of her husband Emilio and their toddler Sasha.

Like Bittman, the chef at the Simon Kitchen & Bar at Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas is a student of Jean-Georges Vongerichten, so the two tend to think alike. (They don't look alike, though; Simon appears to be a nicely-aging rock star.) Kerry's Steak Tartare with Asian Flavors is brutally delicious, and Bittman appears as if he can do nothing more than eat it; finally, he leaps up from the mat and effortlessly assembles what he mockingly calls "tartar burgers," plump little burgers of top-quality beef and the original steak tartare seasonings.